Holding for a moment

have you ever held on to someone because you were afraid to be alone or maybe because in some way you hoped that they would get it right for you. To be honest, why would you want them to get it right for you when they are meant to get it right for someone else? how can we ask for something in someone so sacred  that we are willing to be their own happiness? it is funny, we hear people all the time say I am not ready to give up on them. is it that we are not ready to give on them because we see something in them, or are we afraid that if we give up them we are left with nothing? is it really about them or is it a selfish purpose that we continue to hold on to these people and block them from their growth? is that really unconditional love or we practicing conditional love for self because we believe if we hold on to them we can make them see what we see. but do we really even see reality? Are we really seeing what's in front of us or are we only seeing what could be? Someone once said that if you love something that you should let it go... what if love was the one thing that you ever wanted? I've realized it doesn't matter what you want if you desire is in it you gotta let it go and give it to god and allow him to bring it back if it was meant for you.

The Box

The box
someone once said to me that I didn't live to live. I thought to myself we all have a box that we live in and we all live in different ways. Some live without any limits and others live in between the lines. However, who are we to tell people that the way they live is wrong. I kept thinking that My living wasn't real and then I realized that I live and love differently from a lot of people and that is a risk that I am willing to take. What is living if we all live the same? What's the point of taking risks if all of the risks are the same? Next time someone tells you your not living to live. Just think about your own box and know your living to live for you!

Dating

Its a new year and a new time for change. So I decided that I was no longer going to be that person that cared for everyone and allowed everyone to walk all over me. I decided to be that person who just dates with no intention of being with one person. I have never done this before because I worry about what people feel and I do not like having people's feelings in my hand but this year I was not going to pay attention to it. So far it has not worked out for me. Well I don't care but now I have gotten a lot of guys that wanted to be with me, it was never like this before. it started of with D. He was younger then me but he had something about him that I wanted to be around so I did. we were talking hanging out and having fun, then fun turned into I like you then I like you turned into were working towards a relationship and I think I got scared and walked away but I realized he wasn't the one for me. He is too young. then came G. well he started in Nov. but we really didn't talk till the end of Dec. we talk off ad on but I feel like he has this love hate relationship with me. Its like he wants to have me close but I won't hear from him for like a week, it doesn't bother me cuz I don't want to be serious with him neither. Then came this guy well we will call him crazy. he started to stalk me.lol this whole dating thing is not what it is cracked up to be.... Maybe I'll just stop I just don't see how people do this....

Friends

I have been doing some serious thinking lately. All of my friends say that guys and women can't be friends. I beg to differ. So I went down the list of all of my guy friends and it made me really wonder... Can we really be friends or do we all have a motive on why we are friends we the opposite sex? Some people believe that it is harder to be friends with an attractive person it is almost impossible for that to happen. They say it is easier to befriend someone who is not so cute. But does that mean it makes it easier for the not so cute person as well? Or do they have strong feelings as well and they are hoping for the chance that the other person will see it? I think that it is possible for men and women to be friends but we have to question up front why we are friends at first. I know that has always been a problem for me. I think every guy wants to be my friend but in reality they are trying to get closer to make their move.., Again before all opposite sex friendships began we need to make sure we know the motive first.
Who knew friendships were so hard....

Average

OK, I don't know if anyone has this problem but its been happening to me a lot lately. Guys no longer want a 10. when did this take place? when did we stop shooting for the stars and settling for a cheap version of what a star could look like. I never understood why people would just want to date someone who was below their own standards. I was talking with one of my guy friends and he said that he knows that his girl isn't the prettiest but she is average and doesn't ask for too much, and he likes that. He said pretty girls just want too much and that I cant give and usually they are mean. Then I started hearing it from all of my guy friends and then I started watching guys in the club it was almost like they have given up on that dream girl because she doesn't exist and settles for reality girl. I couldn't believe what I was seeing and hearing.
I was out last night and this guy came up to me and said I'm not gonna hit on you, I'm just gonna tell you your beautiful and walk away I asked why? he said pretty girls know their pretty and usually will reject you if you don't fit their standards. "they have high self esteem" and "I just take what I can get from these average girls out here" the world has lost its mind....
WE SHOULD NEVER NEVER SETTLE for second or third best. yes, some pretty girls are mean and some do have high self- esteem but really what's wrong with loving yourself fully and knowing your own worth. I believe that if you think like this then you deserve below your standards. But for me I know you can be pretty, smart, funny and down to earth... there are still girls like that out there, and good guys too. But anything worth having is worth fighting for.

Dating and all its Perks....

Today was a difficult one for me. I hate dating so I don't date. I hate the awkward meetings and the trying-to-get-to-know yous its all crap. And in the time we live in people don;t really want to get to know the other person we all have motives and we all think about ourselves first. So I gave up dating but recently my friend said I should just get out there....TEST THE WATERS.Ha so much for that idea. I did what she said and to be honest I felt like a dog in heat and all the guys were after me. This has never happened usually when you wanna date there is no one around but when you don't want to date everyone is lined up at your front door. Don't get me wrong I hope to get married one day and have kids I just didn't think now is the time. I am in Grad school and working... Really a relationship???? So I met this really nice guy and he was cool and we hit it off right off the at but some how he in one week he became crazy wanting to see me all the time and calling me....I hate clingy people I love to just spend time w/ myself and chill. So I have been avoiding him...I know its rude but I hate having to tell someone I don't want to talk to you anymore. So he has been calling, and texting finally I just told him I am not ready for anything I got too much on my heart and head to deal with love and it is my fault for thinking I could date. He seemed pretty upset and then tries to change my mind and I hate that so much... Please when someone tries to break up let them go its not cute to beg, So the moral of my story is dating and breaking up sucks... Especially when your the one breaking up with people I feel terrible... Maybe next time I will just listen t myself....

funny facts about women

I was at the gym and I was about to workout and I walked passed this sign that said spandex is a privilege not a choice. I thought that was funny, so I decided to to write about all of the funny facts that I do or I have heard about.

1.If we don't spend the night, don't give up on calling us back. We were probably just wearing Spanx.( Lol, this is funny because we all try to look good and wear spanx and we are ashamed of it.)
2.When we are truly angry, we go silent. That is your opportunity to apologize, or run. Neither will save you.(It's tough to be a girl sometimes.)
3. Turning down the radio when we are looking for an address(I do this all of the time.)
4.The first naked man women see is ‘Ken( This is an awkward image)
5.Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.( Very true we always have to tell at least one person.)
6.women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower.( I think I have more)
7.On average, a woman kisses about 79 men before getting married( EWWW, Thats alot of dudes)
8.Gossip. Gossip about everything that walks( We do, its a bad thing)
9.Hold grudges( I hate this about girls we never let go of anything.)
10.always disclosure to much when we are on a date.( Thats why a lot of us are still single.)